If you’ve been following me for a while, you know that although I’ve grown up in the church, I only started writing in my Bible a couple years ago. For so long, I was afraid to make any marks in my Bible or even carry it around with me. The Bible felt like such a holy book, and I was terrified of creasing the spine or messily scribbling in the margins.
I’ve been writing in my Bible for almost two years now, and I struggle to comprehend the love God has shown me through this process. As I started writing more freely in my Bible, I felt God’s presence more boldly. As I flipped through the book while hunting for a certain verse, I saw pops of color that reminded me of all the time I’d spent in God’s word. My Bible started to fall open on pages with highlighted passages I really needed to hear. I would find notes I’d left myself—prayers, or moments I felt God working in my life—that reminded me of the Lord’s faithfulness and encouraged me to keep prioritizing time with Him.
In January, I started reading the Psalms. I didn’t originally mean to read the whole book. It was the beginning of the semester, and I was having a terrible week. I was too tired to leave my room or study, but I was too awake to sleep. I felt frustrated and overwhelmed, and I knew I could either turn to the Lord for help or keep feeling miserable. So, I opened YouVersion and started listening to the Psalms. At first, my brain was so cloudy I barely understood the words. Even without recognizing their meaning, though, I began to feel peace wash over me. I felt clarity start to creep in. I began reading along in my own Bible as I listened, and then I began just reading. About twenty Psalms in, I realized the Lord wanted me to read the whole book.
I haphazardly read at first. I always went in order, but some days I would read a dozen psalms, and other times I would go days without reading. I’ve slowly started reading every day, and I’ve quickly seen the Lord draw continually closer to me as I’ve drawn closer to Him. Sometimes, I feel alert while I’m reading. I quickly fly through chapters, understand most of the references King David makes, and am highlighting or annotating every verse. Other days, I slowly work through one psalm and know I am missing some of its meaning. On both types of days, and every day in between, I know I’m growing closer to the Lord. I know His peace and love always surround me, but I’m more aware of it. I’m more quick to notice the blessings He puts in my path or pray when I feel discouraged. I always remember the Lord’s promises and know He has a perfect plan for my life, but as I drawn nearer to Him, I feel these promises. It’s like I can physically feel the Lord’s faithfulness covering me as I go through the day and feel His presence in my heart. Even more than usual, I just want to talk spend time with Him and talk about Him with others.
A couple hours ago, I sat down to read Psalm 78 and felt overwhelmed by how long it was. I felt mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted. I took time to pray and rest in the Lord’s presence, and when I returned to my Bible,I decided to look back and see the progress I’ve made so far this year. In every splash of color, every prayer, every acknowledgement of the Lord’s goodness, every praise, and every plea, I see the Lord’s goodness. I can’t believe I get to read His word, and pray to Him, and grow closer to Him each and every day. I’m so thankful for these blessings, though, and I can’t wait to see what new scribbles my Bible will be covered with as I grow closer to God.